Violence/Gore: Some people get chomped by the chicken…and no, that isn’t a euphemism.

Sex/Nudity: 1957, what part of that didn’t you get? Well OK, there is a brief bit of repartee involving spanking, but that’s it.

Best Line: “A bird - a bird as big as a battleship.”

Score:

There’s such a comfortable mood to most ’50s sci-fi “monster on the loose” movies. They just make me want to settle in with some popcorn (plain only - no butter “flavoring,” no insipid “kettle corn” sweetness please) and revel in the fluffy fun. Naturally, some are better than others. Some are, in fact, masterful (THEM), while others are so lame, so completely insane that the joy comes not from believing in the story but from mocking the movie relentlessly like some ersatz Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode. Such a train wreck of a film is THE GIANT CLAW, which has built a lasting reputation on its laughable central creature, ridiculous ‘plot,’ and the presence of sci-fi stalwart Jeff Morrow.

It seems some folks are seeing a UFO in the skies that might resemble a battleship - if a battleship had huge wings, a preternaturally long, stiff neck, and a beaked, scowling face with a thready topknot. All right, they only mean it’s as big as a battleship. In fact, Morrow gamely states that he saw a “flying battleship” about five million times, assisted by every other cast member in reiterating this fact until they learn it’s a giant alien bird, at which point they simply switch to calling it “a bird as big as a battleship.” So it’s pretty big then, huh? Could this repetition have anything to do with the fact that the filmmakers might have felt a bit defensive about their rather lame, stiff-looking ‘giant’ chicken puppet on a wire? Hmm, could be.

But wait, it gets better. Given the clues that mount up in the first twenty minutes or so, it’s inevitable that any viewer will come to the same conclusion: a giant extraterrestrial chicken with a self-generated anti-matter shield has arrived on Earth to build a nest. Why, it’s so obvious, so frightening in its stark simplicity! You’ll bust a gut laughing, no question, and by the time this thing has savaged some teenaged hotrodders (who were supplied in bulk to all ’50s SF films) and perched on top of a styrofoam Empire State Building, your eyes will be too clouded with tears to see anymore. Which is a good thing, believe me. But try to recover just long enough to glimpse the poorly disguised effects footage lifted from the far superior EARTH VS. THE FLYING SAUCERS (one of the craft even makes an inadvertent cameo appearance - maybe that’s the chicken’s ride home?).

Many genre fans recall THE GIANT CLAW with affection. Maybe it’s the stilted narration, the thick wire sticking out of the top of the chicken’s head, the constant reappearance of the same two minutes of chicken model footage to represent every attack by the bird as big as a battleship, the thinly disguised vintage sexism, the extensive use of hair products by the entire cast…or perhaps it’s that final fleeting shot of a grasping chicken claw sinking beneath the waves of a small tabletop tank, I mean ocean. It’s an indelible image of this era’s cheap-ass creature feature entertainment, and it is indeed delightful. So whatever you do, keep watching the skies for a bird…a bird as big as a…yeah, OK.

DVD Extras: Not on DVD yet, but by God, don’t you think it ought to be?

ATB